The Healed Version of You

Peaceful, calm, stronger boundaries, and the ability to say no without guilt - these are some of the attributes of the healed version of you. While the unhealed version of you may have been a people-pleaser, stuck in survival mode, exhausted, and scanning to see if you were “okay," this pattern of hyper-vigilance is not sustainable long-term without consequences. So how does one get out of this mode of self-abandonment and rise into the healed version of themselves?

Well, first of all, I would like to acknowledge that when I say “the healed version,” it does not necessarily mean that there are no longer worries or triggers. We are imperfect human beings, after all, and I say this in the most beautiful way, as I believe that imperfection is perfectly imperfect. We learn through whatever struggles we go through and reframe the experience so that we are no longer the victim but we are the empowered with purpose and fuel to move forward. It may be an imperfect journey, but there is so much beauty in the struggle, the lessons, and the connections made as we learn and grow together. So when I say “the healed version,” what I really mean is the version of you that loves yourself through every season, who stays by your own side no matter what, who learns to attract the positive, and who protects your space as sacred.

This is the “you” that becomes extremely selective as to who gains access to you because you recognize your energy is precious. You know that every interaction has an exchange of energy, and you learn to understand the rhythm of the exchange. While the “unhealed” version of yourself may have put up with someone overstepping your boundaries and stayed silent to “keep the peace," the healed version of you walks away when you encounter continuous disrespect. To others that knew the former you, the healed version of you may appear to be meaner. This is because the healed version of you puts peace as your main priority and no longer tolerates manipulative people trying to overstep your boundaries.

To step into this new reality where you create your world with peace as your primary, here are a few tips I have learned along the way (take what resonates and ponder the rest):

·      Listen to your nervous system: your nervous system is always talking to you. When you allow yourself to sit with your feelings and emotions and observe them without thinking that you are the emotions, you create a space for energy to flow instead of stagnate. The goal is to try to understand the messages your body is sending you and practice knowing what/who is good for you and what/who is not.

·      Observe & Release Judgment: Catch yourself when you are judging others or judging yourself. Whenever you go to correct someone without them asking or judge someone, realize that this may be a knee-jerk reaction stemming from the inner critic. Were you criticized growing up? Did you learn this somewhere as a defense mechanism? Often, judging another comes from our own projections, insecurities, and limited perspectives. Self-criticism may also be coming from the inner critic (which we get to in the next bullet point). So, make it a game! Whenever you feel the judgment lens come up, energetically step back, mentally observe, and see where this is really coming from. When you replace judgement with curiosity, you open yourself to healing.

·      Challenge the Inner Critic: For the healed version of you to thrive, it may need to confront the inner critic. At the very least, it may need to challenge the right to rule your mind. The inner critic is usually a combination of one or both parents, authority figures, mentors, or bullies that one has accumulated along the way. To regain your right to rule your mind and life, you may want to 1) catch the thought or feeling, 2) question its validity, 3) find the underlying fear, 4) change the narrative, and 5) take action.

An example of this might be: “Oh, how interesting, it looks like 'so-and-so' is back with some imposed limitations. While that may be true for you, that’s not my truth. I believe that I am capable and that I can do this. So just because you may not be able to do something does not mean that I’m adopting that as my reality. My reality is different, and I create my own path.” After addressing the inner critic and replacing it with your own voice, be sure to have action and follow-through toward your goal(s).

While there is more to this, you are more than welcome to set up a personal session with me via the Contact tab, or join my Empowered class (click here).

I just know you can do whatever you put your mind to! See you soon - Aura