Your Body Bank

When I was younger, I had all of this energy stored up and it seemed uninterrupted, everlasting with endless amounts of reserve to tap into. Everything feels so alive and brand new when you're younger, with your curiosity wide open, continuously engaging with new experiences, and your energy is peaked for adaptation. With each new experience, you adjust your outlook on life and people, either opening up more, or learning to close yourself off. Then, as you grow and have more encounters, your brain and energy are learning, adapting, changing, and growing. Your 'body bank' is either accumulating positive experiences and is in a surplus, or it interprets the experience as negative and falls into deficit.

To understand this analogy, think of yourself as moving through life and your 'body bank' - aka your mind, nervous system, and energy - is accumulating experiences. If you interpret these experiences as positive, your bank is in a surplus! In a surplus, you feel happy, connected, able to navigate challenges and go with the flow. You have an abundant mindset and know that your needs will get met, and you let go of the desire to control the outcome. If you interpret the experiences as negative, it brings your energy down and your bank is in deficit. In deficit, you may feel anxious, fixated, unable to move forward, stuck, and adopting a scarcity mindset. In this space one may feel like no matter what they do, it isn't enough. The energy needs an uplift and feels depleted.

In accordance with this analogy, would you say you have accumulated more positive experiences or negative experiences throughout your life? Is your energy in a surplus or deficit? Your answer may tell more about the way your brain is wired than you think. What one may want is to always be in a surplus because this is where the energy has a positive overflow. One way to accomplish this is to rearrange your past experiences in a positive way. When you rearrange your past experiences in a positive way you are engaging in cognitive reframing. Cognitive reframing allows you to feel like you are a participant in your own life and world instead of feeling as though life is just happening to you. We all want a sense of autonomy, feeling capable and within one's own power to navigate life courageously. By actively shifting your perspective about past events, you engage with life to find more constructive and optimistic ways to move forward within your own power.

It should be noted that this is not about lying to oneself or denying a difficult experience, but rather this is about consciously choosing to reframe the past in such a way that you feel empowered, can let go of the negative attachment to the event, and regain control over your autonomy and self-efficacy. However you choose to see life and your past experiences either empowers you, or extinguishes your light. When you think of your body bank, it has so many past experiences that are stored in your nervous system, chakras, and energy. Your body bank is either full of experiences that you have interpreted as positive, or your body bank is storing experiences as negative. In turn, the way you choose to interpret current and past experiences either facilitates you into feeling capable, optimistic, and confident while navigating the flow of life, or it gets stored in the energy as feeling anxious, incapable, and afraid to move forward.

So how does one change their relationship to the past? Speaking from personal experience, I first had to acknowledge that I had a fixed mindset and had an attachment to being "right". This is a tricky one for many people, as one may grow up in environments that are dictatorial, where being "right" and having a clear "winner" and "loser" is valued above creating connection. Acknowledging that I am a creator and a co-creator to my life and world, I needed to rearrange my sense of self, and my sense of self was in a victim-mindset, feeling as though life was happening to me instead of me being a participant. There were so many past and present experiences that created a feeling of sadness, disconnect, and anger in my body system. It took a lot of self-reflection, self-work, and forgiving myself and others so that I could release the connection I had to those people and experiences.

Then, I took what had happened to me and asked myself how I could use it to my advantage moving forward. "How could I learn from this experience, how could I release the anger and bitterness, and how could I take charge of who I am now and who I would like to become?" Those are just a few of the questions that I continuously came back to as I was using cognitive reframing. I'm going to be honest, there was a lot of emotion that I needed to sift through that came up more than once. I had to have a lot of patience with myself each time the anger and pain resurfaced. I also needed to rearrange my relationship with my triggers so that I embraced the trigger, viewing it as an opportunity to heal. I still do this to this day, and it gets easier with practice.

Eventually, there is a point when you shift from living in the past, to being present. The freedom here is absolutely liberating, and your perspective shifts from this victim-mindset to seeing everything that you have ever been through as guiding you back to yourself. In turn, this replenishes your energy and your body bank, feeling capable, confident, and able to find the flow and connect to purpose. For myself, everything that was ever meant to bury me, everything that was sent to destroy me, I have taken those bricks thrown my way and built. I refuse to allow someone else to dictate who I am and who I become.

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©Aurélia Xavia Zenith