Releasing Stress

While writing this blog piece, I sat there, beginning sentences and then erasing them, not because I couldn't speak about stress, but because there are so many avenues to discuss stress that it's almost overwhelming to choose where to begin. One might even have tongue-in-cheek to say that I was becoming slightly stressed in trying to define stress (*insert laughter here*). When I thought of writing this blog-piece, I tapped into so many avenues of my own, personal experiences where I have felt anxiety and stress. Some of those avenues directed my memories to the past in my childhood, then into relationships, into school and university, and also parenting and how joyful and rewarding that can be, albeit stressful at times. If you sit to quietly think about the word "stress", how many avenues do you link into in your own mind? I would invite you to grab a piece of paper and write out all that this word connects into for you, just to see how much you may be carrying in your energy.

Furthering my own self-growth, I have recognized that releasing stress first begins with identifying the emotions I am experiencing in regard to the person, object, situation, or thoughts that I am in relation to. In knowing how I feel, act, think, and behave when I am centered and grounded, this helps me to notice any subtle shifts and changes in my energy when I begin to veer off course, due to how I am internalizing my experience when something 'new' is introduced to my energy. In other words, if I know that when I am centered and grounded that I feel happy, stable, confident, and calm, and then all of the sudden I feel my energy shift to feeling unstable, fearful, uncertain, and agitated, I would ask myself what was introduced into my energy field to make it shift. Did I read a headline in the news? Did my thinking shift without noticing? Where are my thoughts going? What emotions am I observing and experiencing now? Did I think about a person from the past? What created the energy shift for me? By asking these questions, I am able to step back, explore, and approach with curiosity.

So often in my self-discovery journey, I think of how stress and anxiety relate to circumstances that feel beyond my control. Many times in the past, I have had external situations shift and change from the way I wanted them to go, and I was challenged to accept what was happening vs. what I wanted to see happen. In my mind, I was attached to the outcome of how the situation would evolve and unfold, and this was causing me undue stress. My "shoulds" and "should nots" ran deep, and I had a hard time accepting that the world, and the people in it, may work differently to how I had previously thought. Relationships, friendships, the way interactions "should" go, the way people "should" think and behave, the way family dynamics "should" and "should not" be, and so on.

It was, in fact, creating further stress when I carried my own impositions and tried to apply that onto others. Then, I came across the concept of "non-attachment" in my readings and discussions at university. The core of this message that I took away was that if I was going to be happy, if I was going to be free of stress and anxiety, and if I wanted to reach a path of calm, center, and a state of flow, I needed to rearrange my relationship to my beliefs. The belief that one is "right" is the core of the problem, for if one is always right, the state of growth, learning, and flow stops. In fact, to be right, there are times where one would need to be wrong, and in being wrong, one would be able to be right. It sounds like a riddle, doesn't it?

Leaning into this centuries-old idea is that when one is attached to something, there is a desire to control the outcome. When one is attached to the outcome, beliefs, desires, thoughts, experiences, and feelings that one has, it alters the way one approaches life. It also creates a restrictive mindset. I heard in a seminar the statement: "The more restricted and closed the mindset, the more unhealthy the being". This is due to the fact that if one can only see through his own lens, that he is missing out on life. According to him, there is only one way to do something, and that one way is his way. This can lead to an energetically inflexible and unhealthy (or stagnant) way of being, which can lead to a judgmental, myopic, domineering, self-righteous mindset. To reach center and flow, one must release the attachments one has which, I have found, is a continual process, sometimes multiple times per day. So, how might one release themselves from an inflexible-mind cycle?

Well, the opposite of attachment is non-attachment. Non-attachment can be beneficial for those looking for peace, happiness, flow, and center. To practice this, one might notice when certain emotions arise, such as anger, fear, or sadness. Other emotions and/or feelings may also be involved, such as possessiveness, desire, worry, or feelings of being "right". For me personally, when I feel any of these surfacing, I try to notice as soon as possible. Then, I practice letting go. This being said, letting go does not mean that I deny my feelings or my emotions. It simply means that I change my relationship to them. I view my emotions as messengers and work to decode the message they are carrying. When I engage with my emotions in this way, it helps me to understand that my emotions are not facts, they are simply trying to send me a message. It is a practice of observing my reactions and responses instead of impulsively reacting to the situation.

As I allow myself to explore this message, it leads me to this thought: "What if nothing is wrong?" This sentence helps me to realize that the only reason I might think something is "wrong" is because I want it to be different from what it is, and this is at the core of what is causing me stress. So, what if the only thing that needs to change is my perception? Can I be more flexible in my thinking? What if I approach life thinking that everything is unfolding exactly as it needs to unfold? What if life is facilitating me to evolve through these situations? And what am I learning through this experience? If I practice this thinking, my power returns to me.

Below are some tips that I try to engage with regularly:

1) When I feel my emotions strongly stirring, I observe to see why my energy is shifting.

2) I try to identify the source of stress and allow myself to rearrange my relationship to the stressor (the belief, person, situation, etc) and let go of how I think it should be.

3) Every time I feel stress, I know it is because I am attached to the outcome in some way.

4) By practicing non-attachment, I allow myself to release the desire to control anything external. In this way, my energy comes back to me and I find calm, center, peace, and flow.

5) This allows me to let go and understand that maybe nothing is actually wrong. Maybe everything is unfolding exactly as it needs to unfold. I then ask myself: "What am I meant to learn from this experience?"

If I show up, I have done my best, and life is still unfolding in the way that it is, then my focus can shift to letting go. I appreciate sharing one way in which stress might be released. If you would like explore more ways to release stress, increase happiness, and explore purpose, click on the button below and we can do a session via phone together! Just send me a message through our contact page. In the meanwhile, I am wishing you great clarity and happiness!

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